![]() Just as unbridled emotional dumping can alienate those closest to you, true vulnerability with the receptivity for a fresh perspective can bring you closer together.“There are more things, Lucilius, that frighten us than injure us, and we suffer more in imagination than in reality.” - Seneca The Younger, Roman Stoic Philosopher (Moral Letters To Lucilius)ĭid you ever feel that your thoughts kept returning to that one negative incident? And you couldn’t just get your mind off that blunder, judgment, or comment? Instead of letting rumination wreak havoc on your relationships, use it as a way to strengthen them. Use these tools to support the ones you love with their rumination. Try using different tools and take note of what works for you. So next time you find yourself ruminating, try to remain open and curious. The solution isn’t to stop talking to yourself, it’s to learn how to do so more effectively. You can’t escape your inner voice, but you can retrain it. ![]() Write down your findings so when you are in distress you can refer back to the groundwork you’ve laid for yourself. The key is to arm yourself with an arsenal of tools to experiment with until one tool, or a combination of tools works for you. It’s important to note that not every tool will work in every situation. When we pull back from viewing our problems under a microscopic lens, suddenly they appear smaller and more manageable. “What we’ve learned in lots of research is that when you get stuck focusing on your problems in a very narrow way, totally zoomed in, finding some way of stepping back and broadening your perspective – zooming out so to speak – can be really really helpful,” he says.Īll of the tools outlined above are ways we can zoom out from our problems. Ethan Kross, PhD, to adjust our perspective on our problems. We can use our brains like a lens, says Dr. They’re either obsessing over what could have been, or they stay stuck because they talk themselves out of their dreams for the future. It’s why so many people stay stuck in the past. Or it can be a protection mechanism in our effort to avoid repeating past mistakes that have caused us pain or discomfort.Įveryone has an inner voice, and at some time or another they have found themselves contending with that voice stuck on repeat, like a skipping record. A rumination cycle can alert us that we want or need something different from our current reality. This pattern of thinking can actually give us some valuable information when we become aware of it. Rumination isn’t a new phenomenon, it’s something humans have been dealing with since we became conscious. You probably felt like there was no solution to your problem and likely, it felt all-consuming in that moment. And I’ll bet each examination, it dredged up those icky emotions associated with the story you were telling. ![]() You probably repeated conversations and scenarios over and over in your head. Think about the last time you felt emotionally stuck. According to the National Library of Medicine, the definition of rumination is “a form of perseverative cognition that focuses on negative content, generally past and present, and results in emotional distress.” Whether it’s ruminating about the past, present, or future, we know this negative cyclical thinking is equally disruptive.
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